A recent study reveals that the prevalence of eating disorders among preteens is on the rise, with most of the children in the study being diagnosed by age 11. 

I find this especially disturbing given the amount of physical development that should occur during these critical times in an adolescent’s life. With children starving themselves and depriving their bodies of valuable nutrients, we are faced with an immeasurable amount of physical damage, not to mention the psychological ramifications.

Why do you think eating disorders are affecting children at earlier ages?

(Posted by Merritt)

According to a recent study, the prevalence of eating disorders can be partially attributed to “social contagion.” 

The study revealed, “Severe food intake restriction, dieting, exercising and diet pill use all showed clustering by county, as did any weight control symptom overall or any eating disorder symptom.” 

So there is undeniably a link to peer pressure as it relates to eating disorders and body image. The question for us continues to revolve around our ability to teach girls the value of an identity not based on peer opinion or media influence.

(Posted by Merritt)

The New York Times ran an article earlier this month entitled “A One-Eyed Invader in the Bedroom” addressing the ramifications of children having televisions in their bedrooms.


 
The article references one study of third graders, which concluded that a whopping 70% of those surveyed had a television in their room. The author goes on to raise questions about the harmful effects of this phenomenon, which include increased obesity, lower test scores, and more prevalent sleep problems.  

While I find those issues disconcerting, I am not as concerned with the amount of television being watched as I am with the content being watched without any supervision. Within recent months, I have had several conversations with girls who are struggling or have struggled with pornography. With a TV available at all times and the privacy of viewing it in their own rooms, girls have a world of illicit material available to them. 

What used to be seen as a harmless piece of entertainment that could at worst lead to a little couch potato-itis has moved to a whole new level of destruction. It can now open Pandora’s Box of inappropriate images for a new generation of impressionable kids. 


So what do you think? Is it harmless or harmful to have a TV in virtually every bedroom in America?(posted by Merritt)  

How do we teach girls that we are called to be different from the world? I wondered this after reading an article in Seventeen called “Sex Q&A: Q’s You Can’t Ask Anyone.” My heart was broken with the issues that 15 and 16 year old girls were dealing with. I hurt to think that those ages of girls are sexually active and freely admitting it. I remember a time when I wouldn’t even listen to a DC Talk song because it had the word sex in it. Our world has changed so drastically…and not for the better. However, the thing that made me the most frustrated was the answer they gave to a girl about her addiction to pornography. At first, I just sat there stunned, and then I decided to write the magazine a letter to let my frustrations out:

                My name is Alyssa and I am 20. I am currently working with an organization that attempts to encourage teen girls and show them that it is okay to be different from the stereotype of a girl in our society by resisting drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, sexual draws, and physical self abuse. I was reading in your March 2008 issue on page 116 “Sex Q&A: Q’s You Can’t Ask Anyone” and was greatly disturbed for two reasons. First, three of the four questions on this page were asked by 16 year olds or younger. Does it strike anyone else as heartbreaking that girls this young are asking about sex results? The answers almost allow the readers to be encouraged to continue in their potentially harmful behaviors. Second, there was a question about porn in which the response was “Don’t worry about your thoughts or what you watch: just don’t let porn influence how you feel about your own sexuality.” Are you kidding me? I struggled with addiction to porn when I was 13 and 14. There is a direct correlation between what I watched and thought and how I felt about my sexuality. The women in porn are outwardly perfect and so pleasing to males. How could this not affect  my thinking? I thought as a result that I also needed to look like these women and act like them or I would be a disappointment. That greatly affects one’s selfesteem. The picture it painted for me was that I needed to be sexual and “porn-like” to have love and relationships. We all have to admit that there is more to relationships than the physical, but porn doesn’t portray these other aspects. To dismiss the problem by saying it is perfectly acceptable to watch and think about these things and not let it affect personal views of oneself is ridiculous and unrealistic. Of course what I watch is going to determine how I act. Porn paints an unrealistic picture of sex and relationships. It is normal to be curious about porn and have urges to watch it, but that doesn’t mean it is healthy. People have urges to eat junk food, but it isn’t healthy and those urges need to be controlled. You can even go so far to say that girls often have urges to starve or force themselves to throw up, but everyone can agree that behavior is unhealthy. Urges don’t always equal what is best for us. Since this is the case, we shouldn’t encourage those urges to be explored. It wasn’t until I realized the effects the porn was having on my mind, that I was able to resist my urges and rise above that desire. I know you are attempting to appeal to all varieties of girls, but the issue can still be addressed from all sides. 

So again I ask: how do we teach girls that we are called to be different from a world that says it doesn’t matter what you watch or think as long as it doesn’t make you feel bad?

I was recently reading an article in an Elle magazine that caught my attention. It was about a young lady who had recently had problems getting a date. With the looming thought of a dateless Valentine’s day, this young woman decided to do something about it. She embarked on finding a plastic surgeon to increase her attractiveness. In a world obsessed with celebrities and staying young, this wasn’t that shocking to me. However, this young lady wanted to have plastic surgery on her hands. According to her, her hands were the reason she wasn’t appealing to men. She described her hands as wrinkled, veiny, and old. After meeting with an established hand model, this women went under the knife. The surgery was successful according to the patient, who raved that it took “a decade off my hands”. Although she still hasn’t nabbed herself a date for Valentine’s, she hopes that the days ahead might prove more prosperous due to her new, younger hands.

Reading this article, I couldn’t help feeling disgusted, frustrated and even a little sad at the “requirements” for a woman to “stay young”. The fact that women feel the need to reconstuct even their hands to feel young, beautiful and appealing was hard to read. It saddens me to think of all the young girls that I know who will soon enter this viscious realm that never echoes contentment, but instead says “You look old, how can you fix it?” Plastic surgery, new diets, and updated beauty tips seem years away from every girl. However, at age 20, I am already feeling the pressure of looking and feeling younger. When will this pressure ever stop? I honestly think it will never end, but the more we find contentment in Christ alone, the more satisfied we will become in our own unique skin.

(Posted by Alyssa Weaver, a college student serving as a semester staffer for SAGE Ministries.)

Follow-up Question:
What are ways to share the value of contentment and God’s beauty with girls that are gradually falling victim to the “younger is better” pressure?

We’ve put together a short survey (5 questions only) to gather your input regarding girls ministry resources.

We are working hard to put together a brand new line of resources that will be unveiled at Outfit 2008, our annual Girls Ministry Training Conference. So take a minute to complete the survey and give yourself a chance to have it your way in the next SAGE Resource Catalog!

Take the survey now!

Carol Platt Liebau, Managing Editor of the Harvard Law Review, is garnering attention for her new book entitled “Prude: How The Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls”.

In a recent interview with a British newspaper, Liebau spoke out about the ramifications of girls growing up in a culture where “being called a slut is preferable to being labelled a prude.”

She goes on to add, “The overwhelming lessons teenagers are now learning from the world around them is that being sexy is the ultimate accolade, trumping intelligence, character and all other accomplishments…”

We all understand that there are a prevailing number of negative role models in society today, but the ramifications of their behavior perhaps remains to be seen.

I wonder if we are failing to give girls enough credit for their ability to discern between the good and the bad. While I agree that some will fail prey to the pressure to imitate Britney-like behavior, I think many will be able to see the value in simply choosing to be who they are.
(Posted by Merritt)

Talkback Questions:
* Do you think the girls in your ministry feel compelled to be a copycat of today’s seductive celebrities?
* Do you agree with the author’s distinction that it is preferable in girls’ eyes to be called a slut rather than a prude?

Seventeen Magazine’s sex survey netted some disturbing statistics. One of the results listed on their website is as follows:

“38% of you feel comfortable having sex with a guy when you’ve both said, ‘I love you.’”

That means at least one in three of the girls surveyed think sex is a “comfortable” step once three little words are uttered. In their minds, saying “I love you” green lights the most intense physical intimacy possible.

Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV) says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

Our hearts absorb the words “I love you” like a sponge. We long to experience real love, so we allow our hearts to deceive us into believing that spoken love warrants physical love. And although there are definite physical risks that come with sexual intimacy, the risks that come with emotional intimacy can be even greater. Truthfully, there is no such thing as “safe” sex. Engaging in a sexual relationship is always a risk for your heart.

So the challenge we face is to teach girls about more than safe sex. It’s our job to teach them how to guard their hearts for they truly are “the wellspring of life.” (Prov. 4:23, NIV)

Talkback Questions:
What are some ways we can teach girls about guarding their hearts?

Based on a premise similar to the True Love Waits movement, a new wave of events has emerged known as Father/Daughter Purity Balls. Earlier this year Glamour magazine included an article outlining one reporter’s experiences attending one of these events in Colorado Springs.

I encourage you to read the article in its entirety, but if time is an issue, let me share the writer’s summation paragraph:

“I deeply wish that the lovely things I have seen tonight—the delighted young women, the caring, doting dads—might evolve into father-daughter events not tied to exhorting a promise from a girl that may hang over her head as she struggles to become a woman. When Lauren Wilson hit adolescence, her father gave her a purity ring and a charm necklace with a tiny lock and key. Randy Wilson took the key, which he will hand over to her husband on their wedding day. The image of a locked area behind which a girl stores all of her messy desires until one day a man comes along with the key haunts me. By the end of the ball, as I watch fathers carrying out sleepy little girls with drooping tiaras and enveloping older girls with wraps, I want to take every one of those girls aside and whisper to them the real secret of womanhood: The key to any treasure you’ve got is held by one person—you.”

Hmm…the last time I checked, Scripture said, “You are not your own.” And since we are not our own, we are supposed to honor God with our body. I didn’t atttend this ball, but I hope that was the truth that was shared. We were bought with a price, not by our earthly father but by our Heavenly One, and that is the purity lesson we should be teaching girls today. (Posted by Merritt)

Talkback Questions:

What do you think about this concept of Father/Daughter Purity Balls?
How effective do you think these events are at helping girls maintain their purity?

According to various magazine articles, 17-year-old Ashley Qualls is now a millionaire thanks to ad revenues generated by her website, whateverlife.com. The stats say that her site generates more traffic than Oprah’s, an impressive feat for a person not yet old enough to vote. Her site is geared toward teen girls, and with the millions who visit her site, what Ashley says is part of a cyber-gospel. Whether it’s bands she likes or politicians she promotes, Ashley’s got influence.

Want to find out what she’s promoting? Check it out and see what you think.

Posted by Merritt